Maybe when I'm older it will all make sense
Maybe when I'm grayer my voice will need the rest
"I don't want to be on my deathbed wishing I had played more music and taken more risks in my life"
I wasn't long back in Indianapolis after having lived in Florida for 3 years and I had a rather odd feeling in my soul. I hadn't exactly set the world on fire from Florida as a musician. In fact, the overall struggle down there was quite real, and it showed me a lot about my vulnerability as a musician playing in bars and clubs every night. But the idea of giving up as a musician was the furthest thing from my mind.
It doesn't always make sense to load thousands of dollars worth of gear into a rusted out car and drive hundreds of miles to make dozens of dollars to only dozens of fans (if that many) but the urge to create means something more tangible than a well-funded bank account or a fancy car. a perfect credit score can open doors but the urge to create sometimes makes one want to strive for something much more than all that.
Truth be told, it's the moments when a fan comes forward and says something to me like "that song was what I needed to hear tonight" or maybe it was the fan who bought an album because they wanted their loved one to hear my words. No matter where the music ever takes me I don't want to be on my deathbed wishing I had played more music and taken more risks in my life.